In Search of Social Skills

AMERICAN HYPERLEXIA ASSOCIATION
IN SEARCH OF SOCIAL SKILLS
by Deidre Searles

One of the most difficult aspects of raising a hyperlexic child is understanding social deficits and trying to get help to improve social functioning. For me, my child's difficulties in this area have been the most painful aspect of hyperlexia. As I watch my younger son glide effortlessly through the social give-and-take of the elementary years, I struggle to help the elder negotiate his way through a casual game or making a single close friend. The good news is that his social interaction skills are improving dramatically.
At the same time that the social component is often the most challenging for hyperlexics, it is also the area where parents get the least help. Many school officials think it is beyond the scope of inclusion. Formal programs tailored to a hyperlexic's needs tend not to exist beyond a few centers for preschoolers. My husband and I have been very aggressive about this issue because we feel it is singularly important in ensuring a successful adult outcome for our son. Following are some of the activities we have used to foster social growth.
The Academy for Physical and Social Development
This after school program groups four to six children of similar age together. The kids engage in physically active games that involve a high level of cooperation and planning. The counselors are trained to facilitate conflict resolution, cooperation and learning of leadership skills. The children have a wide range of issues, which I view as more useful than a situation in which everyone has the same strengths and weaknesses. My son has taken part in an after-school program for four years.
The "Boys Club"
This group of four boys meets weekly in the office of a psychologist. The boys initiate game ideas and run the hour. The psychologist intervenes only when the kids cannot handle a confrontation, are dead-ended or exhibit behavior that needs to be addressed. She also chairs a ten-minute discussion over a snack. The group has discussed issues of some consequence, such as how they feel about taking Ritalin or strategies for dealing with teasing.
Social Group
Once a week a group of four children meets and plays competitive or cooperative board games with the school psychologist. The emphasis here is on negotiation, dealing with turn taking, winning and losing, sportsmanship and casual conversation. The psychologist works on improving spontaneous conversation with kids in a relaxed setting.
Pragmatics Group
As part of his IEP, my son has a weekly pragmatics session with the speech and language pathologist. The emphasis is on interaction in small groups. Specific work is done on initiating, conducting and concluding conversations, as well as on body language, eye contact and using appropriate language with differing audiences.Recess and After-school Sports Programs I am currently working with the student services office of the public schools to put in place two additional programs. Many parents, both of hyperlexics and other included students, have said that recess is a particularly difficult time. At recess kids are with a large number of other children with a supervisory ratio of 100 or more to one, in a loud, chaotic environment. With the new program, we would have a trained facilitator train an additional person to perform recess duty-with a difference. That person will be briefed on children considered "at risk" on the playground and will monitor and actively intervene with those children. For children without good social skills, recess can be a horror. At the same time, it is one of the best labs for improving their skills-with the right coaching and support.
Similarly, our school system offers an after-school sports program. Twice a week fourth and fifth graders play a variety of active games for an hour after school. With a student to instructor ratio of 25-35 to one, my son was having a terrible time. Like many hyperlexics, he is not well coordinated; complex games where positions and ball possessions are constantly shifting frustrate him. The school system agreed that if they sponsor a program-even if it is fee based but using their facilities-they need to provide the support required for inclusion. A second trained professional is now on hand to work with children who need more support in that setting.
Our family is lucky to live in the suburbs of Boston, which tend to have a higher concentration of services than many other areas of the country. However, I believe that with the exception of a facility like the Academy, the types of social programs described here can be duplicated. Parents must make it clear to school personnel that the child's social functioning directly impacts academic performance. The same level of support should be delivered at recess and after-school programs sponsored by the school as are delivered for reading, math or articulation.
I feel that all of these programs have made a significant difference for my child. Every time I see him coming out of school chatting with a schoolmate, I realize these programs were an investment in both time and money that was well worth making.